All behaviour is communication, according to psychotherapist Philippa Perry, and behind the behaviour we’ll find feelings. Therefore, unraveling where the feelings are coming from becomes a key component in any form of communication.
This is a phenomenal book about our range of emotions, about the awareness and the ability to label our feelings, and understanding our triggers and reactions so that we can develop the ability to control and channel our emotions properly.
The book is also about empathy, about understanding where people’s behaviour are coming from, and about the communication tools to properly approach them.
Indeed, all behaviour is communication and it doesn’t really matter whether you’re a baby, a young kid, a teenager, or an adult. As long as we keep our lines of good communication open (without judgement, dismissal, lies, or negative reaction), it will be easier to share our honest emotions and trust with each other in order to build a healthy relationship.
But first and foremost, this book is about parenting. It’s about acknowledging our kids’ feelings, the balance between praising and criticising, the environment that we provide for them, how to healthily help them during distress, how to create a normal childhood (even in the case of a divorce), how to fight and argue in the correct way that it doesn’t damage the child’s psychology, how to repair a ruptured relationship, with the book actually begins with passed down parenting, about what our parents taught us or did to us that we pass on to our kids.
Yes, unlike any other parenting books, this book’s aim is to first analyse (and maybe fix) us first, before we can teach our kids about healthy emotions and relationship. And it does take the pressure off from being a picture perfect parent.
Because we’re humans with emotions, this is hands down one of the most practical parenting books (even relationship books) I’ve read so far. And with 230 highlights in Kindle out of 262 pages, there are so many great lessons and actionable advices from it. So highly recommended.
EDWIN SETIADI 