THE CHAOS THEORY

“Fahrenheit -182” by Mark Hoppus

My teenage years were filled by blink-182 songs. “All the small things” was the anthem for me and my high school friends, “First date” was literally the song that I listened to at one time while being nervous picking up my date, while years later “I miss you” was my break up song (different girl).

I like them so much that during my uni days in England, in a limited student budget I took 3 trains from Cambridge to London, to Birmingham, then to Manchester, just to see their concert. And afterwards I had to crash in a stranger’s living room floor for the night, before heading back home the following day.

Sure the songs are great, but what makes them very relatable are their jokes and banters on stage, first introduced to me by a friend when listening to the Tom-Mark-Travis show, on a cassette. This book has the same fun vibe to it.

The memoir is broken down into a crazy 66 chapters, but it still feels too short due to the past-pace of the narrative and the laid back style of writing.

It begins with Mark’s early childhood memories: his parent’s ugly divorce; the poverty that he, his mom, and his sister endured; the constant moving between cities that made him enroll in different school every year, and by the time he was in high school he’d lived in 8 different houses and nothing really felt at home; falling in love with the skateboard culture; and being mesmerized by The Cure’s bassist Simon Gallup when watching their video clip on MTV.

Furthermore, Mark also tells the story about attending his first concert: They Might Be Giants, which kicked start his flood of musical inspirations; working his ass off one summer to earn a bass guitar from his dad, and self-taught himself how to play it; the Descendents album “I don’t want to grow up” that his girlfriend gave him, which opened up his world to punk music; working part time at the coolest pizza and ice cream place; going to concerts: Nine Inch Nails, Sonic Youth, Nirvana; forming his own band; moving to San Diego for college but having an identity crisis of who he is and what he’s doing; that is, until he meets Tom DeLonge, at chapter 8.

Mark’s meeting with Tom was like a meet-cute in a rom-com, where 2 soul mates meet. They hit it off right off the bat, with them sharing a similar broken family background, the same jokes, the same music taste, both played skates, and separately create some music that together can be combined into something spectacular. The duo was formed!

The story then proceeded to the ups and downs of the band in recording their first demo album, in spreading them out, in winning some gigs at local venues, meeting a guy called O who was influential and took them under his wing, meeting a dude called Brahm who was their fan and happened to have a father who own a record company, looking for the most badass van for their touring vehicle, searching for a band manager, getting arrested for underage drinking, getting involved in a brawl, stealing a Lenny Kravitz cardboard cutout, NOT calling Allyssa Milano when he had the chance, the falling out with their drummer Scott and borrowing other band’s drummer Travis Barker, and talking about the “fourth blink-182 member”: the producer Jerry.

The book answers some of my lingering questions about the band for so long. Like did they really run naked in the “What’s my age again” video clip? Answer: no, wardrobe gave them skin-colored speedos. Damn, a bit of a bummer, don’t you think? Not about the naked stuff, of course, but just the illusion of rebelness that turns out to be slightly manipulated. Although they really did strip naked for the band-playing scene.

The book also addresses the reason why they add the number 182 behind the band name blink, after for the longest of time at the beginning their name was simply blink. So what prompted them to add 182? A cease-and-desist letter from an Irish techno band called Blink that had played in California and New York, giving them the legal right to the name Blink. And thus they had to change their name.

So what’s the 182 stands for? Mark answers, “Over the years, we’ve offered a number of reasons behind the choice of 182. 182 pounds is my ideal weight. 182 was the number of the rescue raft my grandfather floated on after the sinking of his battleship in World War II. Someone claimed Al Pacino says “fuck” 182 times in Scarface. It’s been proven wrong, but that one stuck for a long time and we still get asked about it. Maybe 182 is the number lovingly painted on my childhood sled, long before I became a morally bankrupt newspaper tycoon, dying alone among my riches. Maybe it’s a blank canvas and everyone paints their own interpretation of 182. Maybe the real 182 is the number of friends we made along the way.” Not so much of an explanation, eh? One AI search away suggests that the number was actually random.

Anyway, the book is surprisingly very deep and personal. It shows how these events shaped Mark to become who he is now as a rock star and the songs that he has written and co-written. It shows his struggle with anxiety. It shows the pressure of success, fame, and fortune, and the depression that comes with it when the star is starting to fade. It also shows the crack in the band, the growing pains, that led them to break up in 2005. And of course all the miseries that the trio had to endure, like Mark losing a dive buddy who drowned during a dive with him, Travis’ plane crash, and Tom’s business ambitions that broke the band up for the 2nd time in 2015. And then Mark’s lymphoma cancer, and the honest recollection of the worry and struggles.

Man, the book has everything; hope, despair, hard work, taking chances, rejection, triumph, friendships made, friendships broken, love, marriages, divorces, fights, deaths, joys and successes, so many dick jokes, plane crash, another plane crash, their “beef” with Greenday, his weird encounter with The Cure’s Robert Smith, the stories behind the songwriting, the making of the music videos, brutal break ups, twice, getting back together, also twice, starring death in the face, until they eventually get back together in 2022 with the original Tom-Mark-Travis line up. What a journey.

“It’s All About the Buzz: Understanding Terrace Culture” by Jason Morgan

Terrace culture is a British working class sub-culture, built around football. It rose to prominence around the 1970s where different sorts of lads from different economic background, skin color, or even music taste gather together to form a group (or “firm”) based on 1 thing: the love for their chosen football club.

There are a lot of groups like this from all over the country, and those who do not choose the same football club will be the opposition, with them often ended up in a brawl between one another.

This book is a reminiscence down the history lane, where firm members from various different club supporters are telling their battle stories from the chaotic old days. From supporters of Liverpool, to Middlesborough, Everton, Portsmouth, Leeds United, Man City, Preston, Man United, Newcastle, Tottenham, Bournemouth, QPR, Stockport, Fulham, Cardiff City, Hearts, Chelsea, Millwall, Arsenal, Wolves, Brighton, Celtic, to West Ham, losts of West Ham, and many more.

This is the era when there’s no CCTV to record your crimes and no real consequences from the police either. Indeed, this is hooliganism at its worst, but terrace culture is so much more than just football violence. It got its name from the terrace stand in a football stadium, where another thing appeared that became the other half that defines the culture: the fashion.

This wasn’t explained in the book, but the fashion part of the culture was started by Liverpool fans in their away match against Man United in 1977. By then Liverpool fans have been going to away matches in European Cup, and brought back nice European brands like Fila, Sergio Tacchini, and Adidas. This so-called “Scally look” was later matched by Man United and Man City fans who started to wear Fred Perry polos and Adidas Samba.

Meanwhile, by the end of 1970s hooliganism was getting more violent and thus the police surveillance and arrests were also increasing exponentially, including punishments of minimum of 3-year ban, passport confiscation, even prison time. And thus wearing your team’s football jersey or scarf suddenly will expose you. And so the firms began to replace the obvious football jerseys with their team’s color that was hinted in the likes of Fred Perry polos. Thus, the smart casual pristine look was shaped and spread.

As one Cardiff supporter puts it “This was a culture that made labels massive. A culture with a forever changing uniform. A uniform that was great to wear first and even better when every c**t copied you.”

The book gets repetitive after a while, however, where despite having different sorts of supporters giving the testimony, the templates are tiringly identical: 1. Growing up as a local lad supporting the local football club 2. Joining the firm, loving the camaraderie 3. Nostalgia over the fighting days 4. A side note about fashion and/or music 5. Now I’ve grown up and moved on, but still brothers for life with the lads from the firm and even with some from the firms of other football clubs.

On a more personal note, I’ve had the privilege of living in England for 6 years during uni days, and experienced this culture myself. I watched plenty of England matches at my local pub, hugged and chanted with total strangers during Istanbul 2005, that David Beckham’s free kick against Greece, met plenty of new mates while joining kickabouts in Parker’s Piece (where football was invented), or that one time I ended up playing for Japan in a friendly student match against South Korea (I’m not Japanese).

I also went to Birmingham to see God (Robbie Fowler, when Liverpool played Birmingham at the Carabao Cup), lived 5 minutes walk away from the Walkers Stadium during postgraduate and went to Leicester City matches at the Championship (before the spectacular 5000-1 Premier League season), and went to watch several international matches and pre-season friendlies at the Emirates Stadium (where I saw Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi in the flesh).

Or that famous Champions League match between Man United 7-1 AS Roma in 2007 where the match was electrifying but the atmosphere outside the stadium was horrifying (the Man United hooligans were seeking revenge for the beating that their fans received in Rome a week earlier). But my absolute favourite match was League 2 match at home in Cambridge United, where the stand is still, well, standing, in a bloody cold December night. The raw tackling, the booze, the hooligan vibe were all spectacular.

Oh those were the days alright. No fighting, though. Only booze, music concerts, a couple of heartbreaks, and lots and lots of football.

“A Man & His Watch” by Matt Hranek

The first time I read this book was merely 2 years ago, when I was just at a very early stage of becoming a watch geek. I was new to this obsession and knew almost nothing about horology and I read this book to better inform myself, which helped a lot.

Now, 2 years later, I have watched thousands more hours of YouTube reviews, doom scrolled even more IG reels, read various watch blogs, visited ALL the watch bazaars in Jakarta, established rapport with some re-sellers and ADs, went to a “pilgrimage” to Nakano Broadway, visited vintage watch market in Bangkok, Soviet watch hunting in Hanoi, even found a rare Kurono Toki in a small bazaar near my house and brought it along to Kurono Salon in Tokyo. It was surreal.

And of course, in the past 2 years I’ve purchased more watches. From buying a Grand Seiko SBGM221 in its flagship store in Ginza; to buying my GADA grail watch Omega Aqua Terra; travelling to a dodgy mall in the harsh part of my city just to meet a guy who sold Studio Underdog Watermelon (and decided to buy it); buying 2 local microbrands, Rivelta and Lima; to buying my very reliable Tudor Pelagos 39 that I eventually wear to snorkeling in Bali, hiking in Bukit Bentang, cave trip to Ninh Binh, watching football matches at the stadiums, and all sorts of concerts and music festivals.

And then there were the ones that get away, like the Zenith El Primero reverse panda that was about 60% discounted from retail price (but I just had to think about it for a day and it was already gone); or the ones that I’m interested to buy but never really convinced, like the Breitling Navitimer 41 that I have tried on like 6 times at different ADs but never purchased.

So, why re-reading this book after only 2 years? Because I am longing to read more books about watches, and quite frankly there’s not a lot of them. So I thought, why not re-reading it, only now with a more understanding of this damned hobby/disease/mental illness.

And I must say, it’s an even better reading now when I understand the watches, the models, the history, and the contexts a little bit better. It reminds me why I appreciate the likes of Sinn 556 F.A.Z more than any of Rolex’s mainstream names. It is also fitting that I read a book about the sentimental value of watches before I go to Kyoto next month and planning to visit Kuoe and engrave a certain Old Smith 90-002. Sure, a relatively cheap microbrand, but like what Mario Andretti said about his watches, this would be one of the “trophies” that I will cherish.

It’s always a blast reading this book, but please oh mighty please make a 2nd book for this.

“A Historical Guide to Ernest Hemingway” edited by Linda Wagner-Martin

We all know Ernest Hemingway’s story. Born in a Chicago suburb on 21 July 1899, by the time he turned 25 Hemingway was already friends with Ezra Pound, James Joyce, Gertrude Stein, and had written the majority of the stories that were published as “In Our Time” (1925). Before he was 30 Hemingway had buried his father due to suicide, and written “The Sun Also Rises” (1926) and “A Farewell to Arms” (1929).

Moreover, at 36 he reported the Spanish Civil War to American news readers. At 44 he reported on the Normandy invasion from a landing craft off Omaha Beach. At 46 he had already married to his 4th wife. At 53 he won the Pulitzer for fiction and survived from 2 plane crashes in Africa. At 54 he won the Nobel Prize in literature. And on 2 July 1961, Hemingway shot himself on the head in a suicide.

This book provides this short biography right at chapter 1. So, what does it talk about for the rest 7 chapters? It breaks down his persona into 5 focuses: 1. His education as a naturalist 2. The fashion of machismo 3. His gender training 4. The great themes in his writing: love, war, wilderness, and loss 5. My favourite subject: The intertextual Hemingway (the methods or styles or ideas that he borrowed from other writers). And then followed by an amusing illustrated chronology of his life that complements nicely the information in chapter 1, before concluded by a bibliographical essay. All of which are written by 7 different writers.

It is such a complete, multi-vantage points, view on Hemingway’s life. It shows the family background, his education, the many books that he read, the influential friends that he had, the evolution in his writing style, his vocation as a reporter, his experience as a volunteer ambulance driver during World War 1, his complicated relationship with women, his inspirations for his books, his struggle for depression, his choice to be a machismo, and more. All of which helped to shape his world views, which then projected into the characters and narrations in his books.

It is such a complete dissection of his life, done in a serious investigative manner.

Just a little fun fact about how I get my hands on this book: I found and purchased this book at the legendary Kitazawa bookstore, one of only few English-language bookstores out of 176 bookstores in Jimbocho book town in Tokyo. The place was filled with interesting old books but very well preserved (all of them are even laminated). And it is so fitting to have bought a book in a legendary bookstore that talks about a legendary writer.

“To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee

This is a story about life told from the point of view of a 6-year old girl, Jean Louise Finch (or nicknamed Scout). It begins as a charming book filled with child-like innocence and wonder, which later turned awfully dark.

The story is set between 1933 and 1935 during the height of the Great Depression, in a fictitious town in Alabama called Maycomb. It evolves around the occurrences in school; at home with her dad Atticus and brother Jem; and in afterschool activities that involve all sorts of mayhem like a weird old man “Boo Radley” and his creepy house, and a magic tree that gives her and her brother food, among others.

Scout’s mother died when she was very young and so she and her brother Jem were raised by their strict but loving housekeeper Calpurnia, who is crucially for the story, a Black woman. Her role as the mother figure in the family is what makes the family immune to racism, and one of the reasons why Scout’s father Atticus steps up to become the defense lawyer for a Black man by the name of Tom Robinson, who is unjustly accused of raping a white woman Mayella Ewell.

Tom is a kind person who often passes the Ewell house on his way to work, who out of pure kindness would occassionally steps inside the fence to help Mayella with her chores (and refuse payment). But one day Mayella made romantic advances towards Tom, and when her father Bob caught them, her father beats Mayella. Mind you, this is 1930s America where racial segregation was still very much in place. And to cover up the fact that Bob beats his own daughter and to protect themselves from the racial taboos, Bob and Mayella Ewell decide to put the blame on Tom, and even accuse him of rape.

The progression of the story goes on to show the brutal racial superiority conducted by white men over the minorities. And Atticus and his family – as the defender of Tom – eventually also have to bear the brunt of it; which is extra confusing and scary when we look at it from a 6-year-old’s perspective, who witnesses her neighbours (that she had known for a long time) turn on her family with such an intense hatred. She even get bullied at school because of this.

Indeed, the book led us into the empathatic shoes of the victims, which left a bitter taste in the reader’s mind; an important eye-opener especially when the book was first published in 1960.

A bitter taste, like the mob of the town people who march to the jail and want to directly kill Tom themselves, before Scout bravely prevent them. Or the outcome of the trial where the all-white jury still sentence Tom to prison despite the clear and undeniable physical evidence of his innocence. Or when Tom completely lost his faith in the white man’s justice system (while Atticus is still actively planning to appeal the verdict to a higher court) and decides to escape from prison, before getting shot 17 times and died on impact.

It is shocking that they can kill an innocent and vulnerable man so easily like that, as if they’re killing a mockingbird.

This is what the title of the book means. It is explained in chapter 10 when Atticus tells his children that it is practically a sin to kill a mockingbird, which their neighbour miss Maudie later explains that mockingbirds don’t eat up people’s gardens or nest in corncribs, and instead they just “sing their hearts out for us.” And thus, a mockingbird is a perfect representative of the pure presence in the world, the kind, and the innocent.

The killing of a mockingbird in this story, therefore, applies to the death of a kind and innocent man Tom Robinson; the lost of child-like innocence of Scout and Jem throughout this debacle; and even the innocent Boo Radley, whom people in the town judged as a weird old guy who lives in a creepy house, but later turns out to be a very shy and kind man who saves Scout’s and Jem’s life, when Bob Ewell wants to settle a score with Atticus after he humiliated Bob in court, by attempting to kill his children.

It is such a total masterclass of a story, one that surely leaves a mark on readers’ minds. No wonder it is an American classic.

“Out of Thin Air: Running Wisdom and Magic From Above the Clouds in Ethiopia” by Michael Crawley

This book is written by Michael Crawley, an anthropologist with a passion of running, who spends 15 months in Ethiopia conducting anthropological fieldwork on their culture of long-distance running; you know, the “other” African success story in running besides the more famous Kenyans.

In fact, as Crawley points out, “Since Abebe Bikila’s surprise, bare-footed victory in the 1960 Olympic marathon, Ethiopian men have won twice the number of marathon gold medals as Kenya. They occupy six of the top ten spots on the all-time marathon lists. They have won five Olympic 10,000m titles since 1980 to Kenya’s one, in spite of boycotting the event twice. Ethiopian men and women hold all four 5000m and 10,000m world records. Since Mo Farah started winning global titles on the track, he has only been beaten twice in major championships over 5000m and 10,000m – both times by Ethiopian runners.”

So why do the Kenyans have more of the spotlight instead of the Ethiopians? “Most of the books on running in the region are about Kenya, where it is possible to speak English, and where there are a number of comfortable hotels set up to cater for journalists and Western runners. When we speak of ‘East African’ running, then, we are actually primarily talking about Kenyan running. I was drawn to Ethiopia partly for this reason and partly because I was fascinated by Ethiopian exceptionalism: Ethiopia was the first nation to adopt Christianity, the only African country with its own alphabet and the only one to outwit European colonialism.”

Indeed, Ethiopia is different. Charming, in fact, as Crawley explains: “Ethiopia appeals to me because here the runners believe that ‘mysterious incalculable forces’ have a huge part to play in their success. Why else would they travel for hours at a time, three days a week, in order to run somewhere like Entoto? To get up at 4 a.m. to travel somewhere with hallowed ground and ‘special’ air makes running more pilgrimage than recreation.”

He then continues, “Ethiopia is a place where I have been told that energy is controlled by angels and demons, and where witch doctors can help you to acquire another runner’s power. It is a place where an anonymous runner in the forest told me, miming an imaginary scoreboard and with a completely straight face, that he had dreamt that he would run 25.32 for 10,000m – almost a full minute faster than the world record. It is a place where they tell me that the air at Entoto will transform me into a 2.08 marathon runner. It is a place, in short, of magic and madness, where dreaming is still very much alive.”

This, by the way, is why Crawley names this book Out of Thin Air. Because, firstly “We know little about the lives and beliefs of some of the most talented athletes in the world, and the feats they accomplish therefore seem to spring almost from nowhere.” And secondly, “we usually explain long-distance running success as being a direct result of a set of deterministic factors that are out of the control of the athletes who possess them, chief among which is altitude. We assume that the performances of elite Ethiopian, Kenyan and Ugandan runners are produced almost directly ‘out of thin air’.”

But surely magic and natural abilities are not the real reasons why they’re so good at this sport, right? Well, sports scientists have actually conducted a test on this. As Crawley remarks, “The Athlome Project, for instance, an international consortium of scientists working on exercise genetics and genomics, attempts to discover the ‘genetic variants associated with elite athletic performance’. The project’s director, Yannis Pitsiladis, has written numerous articles based on the premise that it is likely there is some genetic component to elite athletic performance, but has conceded that as yet none has been found.”

Crawley then elaborates, “The assumption of some sort of genetic or altitude-derived advantage comes down to ‘nature’. Runners from Ethiopia and Kenya are seen as ‘naturally gifted,’ and this extends to the way in which people talk about poverty. The implication is that growing up in rural poverty necessitates a more ‘natural’ way of life. This is characterised in media portrayals as working on the land as a child and running long distances to and from school barefoot, with these activities seen as naturally producing champion runners. We come to believe that running for Africans is something they take to easily, without thought or consideration.”

However, by focusing on the genetics advantage or natural circumstances of East African runners (with both claims are still unfounded) we are looking at the wrong things. As Crawley explains, “The tendency to describe African runners as ‘effortless’ or as ‘born to run’ masks the years of preparation and sacrifice that have gone into creating this illusion. It fails to recognise the running expertise that is specifically Ethiopian, or Kenyan or Ugandan. And it fails to acknowledge the institutional support, in fact far superior to that of the UK, offered to Ethiopian runners.”

This is what the book is essentially doing, dispelling the false stereotypes and stripping away the myths. And instead, it shows us the daily routines and socio-cultural structures that enable the habits of the runners, which mold them into some of the best in running world. Crawley done this by following the fortunes of a group of elite long-distance runners, and his attempt to keep up with them as he spend most of his time running alongside them – like learning about zigzag running or doing a local dance as a form of warming up – and hanging out with them post-run, which makes this book a semi-autobiographical account alongside the several characters that we get to know along the story.

Particularly interesting for me is how in this age of sports science and tracking devices, the Ethiopians are still relying more on their gut instinct. As Crawley recalled, “Far from the Western obsession with ‘marginal gains’ and the sports scientists trying to explain athletic success in the lab, my experience living and running in Ethiopia unveiled to me a far more intuitive, creative and adventurous approach to the sport. Coverage of the various two-hour marathon projects, the most recent of which saw Eliud Kipchoge of Kenya running 1.59.40 for the distance in Vienna, has cast Western scientists as the ‘experts’ on East African running, focusing on innovations such as carbon fibre-plated shoes and aerodynamic running formations.”

“As I was told by one young Ethiopian runner, though,” Crawley continues, “‘A scientist does not know time, a doctor does not run.’ We think of global sport at the top level as being dominated by sports science and laboratory testing, but even some scientists acknowledge that a simple running race can measure physical traits better than any lab test. To an Ethiopian runner, there is no more objective test than a simple race from A to B and the best way to learn about running is to run – a lot.”

Yes, there’s something old school romantic about the Ethiopians’ approach of going back to the basics as naturally intended; where they are focusing more on the intense, collaborative, and often rugged training methods. Methods that are rooted in the unique culture and practices of the locals in Addis Ababa that have produced a long history of world champions from Ethiopia.

The last few chapters of the book show the progress that Crawley made in his training with his group and culminating in running a marathon in Turkey together. And in the last chapter he shows the “where are they now” tribute with the update whether his running mates are now successful or not. Because, it is said that there are at least 5000 runners in Addis Ababa, who start as a big flock of birds but eventually will drop down one by one to nearly nothing, with only a few can become successful. This is the harsh reality that we tend to overlook, which of course also disproving the notion that all East African runners are naturally and genetically gifted.

So what makes the successful ones different from the flock? As Crawley recalled, a senior coach told him in Ethiopia that the successful ones “are the ones who watch with their eyes and think with their minds before they move their legs. The ones who run on emotion only can’t make it.”

“Understand-inc People 2.0: Cara Menjadi Ambivert Dengan Menavigasi 4 Tipe Kepribadian” by Erwin Parengkuan

Saya mendapatkan buku ini di training kantor yang diselanggarakan oleh Talk Inc. Di training tersebut kita diajarkan tentang elevator pitch, dimana kita belajar untuk grab attention, deliver inti nya, dan mendapatkan call-to-action dalam waktu yang sangat singkat se akan-akan kita cuma ada waktu ngomong di dalam durasi naik elevator.

Setelah pelajaran teori, kamipun di latih untuk langsung mempraktekan semua ilmu yang kita baru saja pelajari, dan bikin skenario elevator pitch dalam waktu maksimal 4 menit. Di training tersebut tim 3-orang saya yang menjadi juara nya, dengan elevator pitch selama 1 menit 56 detik. Bukan karena kita yang paling hebat, tetapi kita yang paling mendapatkan manfaat dari training ini, dan terrefleksi di dalam pemahaman kita.

Dan yang juara mendapatkan apa? Kita memenangkan buku ini, yang ditulis oleh Erwin Parengkuan, ahli komunikasi yang sudah berpengalaman lebih dari 30 tahun dan founder Talk Inc.

Menurut Erwin, “Memahami kepribadian orang lain dan melihat bagaimana mereka bereaksi terhadap satu informasi menjadi ilmu inti dari semua profesi. Profesi apapun yang anda jalani, percayalah, mengenali kepribadian dan gaya komunikasi seseorang akan memudahkan anda dalam berhubungan dengan orang lain.”

Erwin percaya bahwa kemampuan kita dalam mengenali gaya komunikasi yang ber beda-beda pada setiap kepribadian akan membuat kita menjadi orang yang lebih toleran dan tidak gampang menghakimi: Mengapa seorang ibu bisa memiliki gaya komunikasi yang keras, bagaimana seseorang bisa sangat sabar, atau suka melakukan kesenangan yang mengganggu orang lain, dll.

Erwin lalu menambahkan, “Dengan kondisi dunia saat ini yang serba-terhubung satu sama lain dengan begitu “hyper-connected”, yang terjadi justru komunikasi sering kali bersifat satu arah. Orang menjadi tidak terlalu peduli apakah lawan bicaranya mengerti dan memahami apa yang disampaikan karena banyak orang melakukan komunikasi tanpa membangun relasi. Pada akhirnya, meskipun proses komunikasi berjalan normal, tetap tidak berjalan maksimal dan sangat mungkin hasilnya meleset dari apa yang diharapkan. Bahkan proses konfirmasi atau feedback bisa berjalan bolak-balik sehingga menghabiskan waktu dan tenaga. Semua proses ini justru bisa dipangkas ketika kita memahami kepribadian kita dan lawan bicara kita dalam berkomunikasi.”

Jadi apa saja tipe-tipe gaya komunikasi? Erwin membedakan nya menjadi 4: si gesit, si kuat, si rinci, dan si damai.

1. Si gesit: senang berbicara, antusias, membujuk, kreatif, jiwa sosial, penuh energi, narsistik, spontan, mempesona, sensitif, komunikatif, imajinatif, rileks. Kepribadian ini lebih cenderung extrovert yang menggunakan perasaan.
2. Si kuat: agresif, ambisius, keinginan kuat, orientasi pada hasil, pemecah masalah, tidak sabar, pemegang kontrol, pionir, inovator, meyakinkan, cepat, bicara terus terang, mandiri. Kepribadian ini lebih cenderung extrovert yang menggunakan pemikiran.
3. Si rinci: teliti, sistematis, menjaga jarak, orientasi pada kebenaran, terlihat kurang percaya diri, perfeksionis, butuh waktu, objektif, analisis, refleksi, mengikuti aturan, evaluasi, pendiam. Kepribadian ini lebih cenderung introvert yang menggunakan pemikiran.
4. Si damai: sabar, santai, menguasai diri sendiri, dapat diandalkan, setia, stabil, bijaksana, sederhana, bertele-tele, berhati-hati, tekun, empati, baik. Kepribadian ini lebih cenderung introvert yang menggunakan perasaan.

Dan di perjalanan membantu orang untuk menemukan potensi terbaik nya, hal yang yang paling bagus adalah untuk membuat ke 4 tipe ini muncul secara seimbang pada situasi yang dibutuhkan.

Bagaimana cara nya? Pertama dengan mengenali diri sendiri. Seperti yang Erwin jelaskan, “tidak ada kepribadian yang lebih baik dari yang lain nya. Semua memiliki sisi terang (sunny side) dan sisi gelap (shadow side), tergantung dari kematangan diri seseorang.”

Dan kedua, mengubah kekurangan yang kita punya sehingga menjadi kelebihan unik kita. “Cara nya mudah”, menurut Erwin, “mulai sekarang, berpikirlah dengan cara berpikir lawan bicara anda.” Karena dengan cara ini kita tidak lagi mengedepankan ego, tetapi membuat kita untuk lebih terbuka dan kompromistis.

Buku ini lalu menjelaskan segala sesuatu nya dengan lebih detail, termasuk penjabaran 12 campuran kepribadian, penjelasan bagaimana karakter genetik sulit untuk diubah tetapi bisa dikendalikan, bagaimana perilaku seseorang akan menentukan sikap yang akan dilakukan selanjutnya, tantangan-tantangan di era VUCA (volatility, uncertainty, complexity, dan ambiguity), penting nya inovasi dan kemampuan ber adaptasi di era VUCA, penting nya mengkontrol indentitas kita untuk tetap kecil (sehingga bisa flexibel di dalam perubahan), bagaimana caranya menyelaraskan self-image dan social-image, bagaimana perubahan yang signifikan berasal dari perubahan pola yang baru, dan masih banyak lagi; termasuk analisa dari 5 skill yang penting: problem solving (si kuat), critical thinking (si rinci), creative thinking (si gesit), building relationship (si damai), collaboration dari semua nya (balance).

Untuk buku yang hanya 134 halaman, tulisan Erwin Parengkuan ini sangat lengkap sekali dengan informasi terpenting dalam hal komunikasi. Dan dari sini Erwin menunjukan bahwa skill komunikasi sangat bisa di latih, sesuai dengan kepribadian asli kita masing-masing tanpa harus memaksakan perubahan yang kita tidak nyaman. Sehingga kepribadian yang extrovert bisa berkomunikasi lebih tenang dengan individu yang introvert menggunakan empati, dan kepribadian introvert juga bisa membawa diri dengan baik di lingkungan extrovert; menciptakan kepribadian “balanced”, ambivert.

“A Clockwork Orange” by Anthony Burgess

“Is it better for a man to have chosen evil than to have good imposed upon him?”

This is a classic novel that was first published in 1962. The story is set in a near-future England, and it is about a youth sub-culture of extreme violence that is projected by the main character Alex, his second in command George, and his 2 muscles Pete and Dim.

We’re talking about mugging, robbing a shop, home invasion, beating a man, gang-raping a woman, and even killing; before a certain betrayal landed Alex in prison.

However, this is not a book about violence, per se. But instead, it is a book that exposes and demonstrates the notion of free will into the extremes.

And it is most prominently showed in part 2 where Alex undergoes an experimental rehabilitation program, in exchange with reduced prison sentence, that makes him physically sick whenever he’s thinking about violence or hears his favourite classical music (which was used as his conditioning). This experiment has effectively made him lost his free will and the ability to choose between good and evil, and instead incentivized him to become civilized like a robot.

Indeed, this is a dystopian novel. Or to be more accurate, this book is written in a pre-dystopian setting where the focus is still in the individual misconducts, to show the attempt to control a misbehave member of society, rather than the later-stage government control over the entire society.

As the author, Anthony Burgess, remarks on the core philosophy of the book, “by definition, a human being is endowed with free will. He can use this to choose between good and evil. If he can only perform good or only perform evil, then he is a clockwork orange—meaning that he has the appearance of an organism lovely with colour and juice but is in fact only a clockwork toy to be wound up by God or the Devil or (since this is increasingly replacing both) the Almighty State.”

Indeed, this is what a clockwork orange is: imagine an orange fruit that is organic, juicy, and natural. Now imagine inside it there’s actually a mechanical clockwork, which indicates that it is a controllable robot (with its humanity and free will stripped away), despite the outer natural appearance.

Burgess then continued, “It is as inhuman to be totally good as it is to be totally evil. The important thing is moral choice. Evil has to exist along with good, in order that moral choice may operate. Life is sustained by the grinding opposition of moral entities.”

Part 3 of the book is where moral choice is further challenged, where a more controlled and defenseless Alex is now out of prison but rejected by his family, receiving revenge by those he has harmed in the past, and eventually attempted suicide due to the helplessness of his situation of living like a robot. But then after the failed suicide attempt, the government wants to avoid scandal and eventually reverses Alex’s conditioning. He was then “cured”, but crucially, his violent impulses also return.

Funnily enough, the argument about free will is also unintentionally presents in the way the book was published, where Burgess breaks down the story into 21 chapters (with 21 represents the age of maturity). The entire 21 chapters were published in England and all around the world, but in the US the publisher insisted to only publish 20 chapters and omitted the very last chapter.

What was in the last chapter? Throughout the book Burgess has showed how human beings can test the boundaries of evilness, if not controlled. But in the 21st chapter, the now “free” 18-year-old Alex eventually grows bored of violence. He then encounters an old friend who is now married and living a normal life, and Alex decides that he want something mature like this for himself.

This suggests that true maturation is a natural choice, and not something that can be forced by the state. And perhaps more importantly, it shows that even inside this outrageously violent human being there’s still a little good in him that can change over time. This is Burgess’ view at its entirety.

Meanwhile, in the US version (that was adapted into the movie by Stanley Kubrick) the 21st chapter was omitted altogether and Alex stayed evil until the end of the story, arguing that people’s basic nature don’t change that much when the controlling mechanisms are dismantled.

What a delightful contrast. So which one is correct? The US version is definitely more edgy and realistic. But the international version is more grounded and also realistic. I guess both versions are correct, that everyone can experience both depending on their specific circumstances.

Understandably, this unique philosophical dilemma has made this book often referred to as the third big dystopian book alongside the more popular 1984 and Brave New World. Or as I see it, the Johan Cruyff to the Pele and Maradona debate for the greatest football player of all time.

However, I also understand why a lot of people don’t like the book. It is so surprising for me that for such a popular book it writes poorly, making it a difficult book to read and comprehend, even for a merely 116 pages book (and I have just read a brilliant 562-pages book about a very violent Nigerian civil war, with no problem at all).

But if we can read on and endure the unnecessary “noise”, ignore the way the book is structured and instead actively reading to just find the silver linings; the deep philosophical talking points from the book are exceptional. So, the question remains, is it better to be violent out of free will or be good but like a clockwork orange?

“Post Office” by Charles Bukowski

What the hell was that? Charles Bukowski is one of my favourite authors thanks to his raw truthfulness and his no-bullshit approach in life, reflected in his book “Notes of a Dirty Old Man.”

But this book? It’s dull, it’s very boring, filled with so many vile shits that are not even amusing.

But maybe that’s the entire point of this book, to show how a low-life person live his life? Because, nothing is extraordinary about this person, just a piece of shit who is forced to work a menial job just to survive. No ambition, no sense of security, no sense of responsibility, only living paycheck to paycheck in order to afford his smoking and drinking habit, who spends his money on gambling, who doesn’t respect authority, really degrades women, but yet complains all the time about his misfortunes.

It is quite a different adventure, seeing life from this scum’s point of view. Afterall, you know that saying if you hate a character in a movie, then the guy playing the character is a good actor? This book has that kind of aura to it, where it is so detestable it becomes such an accurate book describing someone so despicable.

But then of course, I remember reading that this book is a semi-autobiography of Charles Bukowski’s own life. So, this might just be an honest retelling of his nasty early life, and nothing brilliant about his plot or style of writing.

I can’t help but thinking the entire time while I’m reading the book, that thankfully I got to see Bukowski’s more mature form in Notes of a Dirty Old Man before seeing this early version of him. I would’ve hated him. I get it now why the FBI kept a file on him.

“The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath

There’s something about clinical depression that I cannot quite put words in it. There’s something about the slow descending of it, the quiet and lonely journey of it. And by the time you realized that you’re in trouble, it might be a little bit too late.

This classic 1963 book tells a story about a smart and promising 19 year-old Esther Greenwood, who is 1 out of 12 college girls from around America who wins an internship in Ladies’ Day magazine in 1950s New York City.

She despises the high life of a big city, however, she doesn’t like its fashion nor its people. But here she is living in one of the biggest and loudest cities in the world, encountering all sorts of weird and wonderful characters.

The 1950s is a curious time between post-World War 2 and before the hippie movement of the 1960s, where the pressure of being a traditional woman with good Christian values is contrasted by the euphoria of post-war freedom and the quiet transition of feminism in the midst of the mad men era. And slowly but surely, Esther breaks down from the suffocating societal expectations and descends into depression.

I really love the way the story is not told in a linear way, but instead going back and forth between her current life in New York and her past lives during high school and college, before proceeding to post-internship where she comes back home and not knowing what to do next in her life after her plan suddenly gets derailed, and then jump to another different time when she has to introduce herself using a fake name. The book also intermittently tells the story about her being betrothed with the son of a family friend, but mix it up with her encounters with several men in the present, while secretly she doesn’t even want to get married. All of which create an intentional chaotic portrayal of this mysterious protagonist.

It is definitely deliberately constructed as such, so that the more we read the more we discover something new about her life, from past and present, all the potential things that she could have done with her brilliant mind, and wondering about what had happened or what will happen to her. Especially after she increasingly becomes more depressed at her hopeless situation and unable to sleep at night, which first landed her in an operating table conducting Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) that doesn’t work, and then led her to many more visits to other nasty doctors that only trigger more suicidal thoughts (which are being described in a detailed manner), before settling in a psychiatric ward.

The story itself is narrated from a first person’s point of view, with Esther herself describing the entire events in her life as if she’s only talking to herself or to someone in a distant future in a retrospective manner. Or to put it more accurately, it is as if the author herself – Sylvia Plath – wrote down all of her inner thoughts and project them into the character, making this book a semi-autobiography. Because the sad truth was, Plath herself also suffered from a depression. And we can really feel it in the book.

“I felt very still and very empty,” Esther said, “the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo.” And this sentence perfectly captures the essence of the story, while the title of the book refers to her description of depression as a feeling of being trapped under a bell jar, struggling for air.

They say that Sylvia Plath is one of the titans of existential writing, alongside Fyodor Dostoevsky, Franz Kafka, and Albert Camus. But this only book of hers is different; it feels too real, too personal. And as it turns out that is indeed the case when after struggling with depression, on 11 February 1963 Plath tragically died by suicide, less than 1 month after the first publication of this book.