“Let’s Play Doctor: The instant guide to walking, talking, and probing like a real M.D.” by Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg
If you want to become a doctor, then this is not the guide book to read. In fact, you should really go to a proper medical school and earn a medical license and stuff. If you want to read a book about medicine or life as a doctor, still, this is probably not the go-to book. But if you want to read about the funny side of medicine, now that’s what this book is for.
This is the 3rd book in the series after “Why Do Men Have Nipples?” and “Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?”. And this time around the authors, Mark Leyner and Dr. Billy Golberg, guide us through their own version of medical school from the beginning of the class until graduation (at the very last chapter).
In between, they teach us a lot of things. Some are very useful but shouldn’t really be implemented without, you know, a legal license, such as the do-it-yourself step by step guidance from rhinoplasty to tracheostomy, hemorrhoidectomy, tonsillectomy, appendectomy, to root canal, leg amputation, lung-heart transplant, liver transplant, even sex change operation, embalming, breast enlargement, and removing a brain tumor.
Some are applicable, such as the favourite food of geniuses from Mozart to Einstein, and the information/suggestion that “we tend to have orgasms with the right side of our brain. [So] start by reading a college algebra or trigonometry book while masturbating.” While others are information that I have absolutely no idea how to use, such as the presence of more than two testicles is called polyorchidism. Riiight.
But don’t think that this book is all jokes and can’t get serious. Because the book is also filled with Q&A sessions with questions from real doctors, horror stories of malpractices, and testimonials from Dr. Billy’s most embarrassing moments as a doctor. Ok fine, they’re all bizarre and hilarious.
Moreover, the book also covers what at first seem like unrelated matters with medicine, but you’ll be surprised. Matters such as the best magazines to be put in YOUR practice’s waiting room (it is after all a book that teaches you how to become a doctor), the fact that Mao never brushes his teeth and only gargle his mouth with tea, Aristotle Onassis upholstered the bar stool in his yacht with whale penis leather, and many stories like that one doctor who perform his own vasectomy (aided by his wife, which happens to be a nurse), and my favourite dude, that “employee of the month” guy who stapled his own scrotum after an accident and continued to work.
Anyway, curious about the magazine list they suggest for YOUR practice’s waiting room? Here’s a snippet of them: Bite Me (about vampires), Prison Living Magazine (about, well, prison living), and D-cup (take a wild guess). And their mini explanation about why the magazines should be there, are just pure gold.